Gimme a kiss

I:  "Liam,  where is grandma's mistletoe?"

L:  "On her feet!"

City names

So Saginaw is still Sagamaw.

Now Fort Wayne is Forklift.

Citizens,  you have been notified.

Bedtime

L:  "Mummy.   Mummy.   Mummy."

(Repeat 270 times)

I goes in:  "What's wrong?"

L:  "I hurt,  I hurt my teeth.   No,  my finger.   I hurt my finger."

On driving

Ian and Liam driving home one day.

L:  "Daddy,  slow down."

They go over railroad tracks.

L:  "Daddy,  I worry about your car breaking!"

Home

Ian was having a discussion with Liam about where we live.

I:  "Where do we live?"
L:  "Okemos!"
I:  "And what state do we live in?"
L:  "..."
I:  "We live in Michigan."
L:  "Yeah!  And Sparty won!!"

Must be some show!

One of Liam's new favorite activities is to watch "The Cupcake Movie."  This involves sitting on the bottom step on our stairs and looking at the blank wall directly across from it.  He prefers Daddy to watch it with him.  Occasionally, he gets up to do the "Cupcake dance," which is simply bobbing up and down a bit.

I don't know what "The Cupcake Movie" is about other than it has dinosaurs in it.

Bang!

I am reminded that Liam seems to be doing many amusing things after we put him to bed these days.

On Sunday night, the kid refused to go to sleep.  He wanted singing.  He wanted to take multiple toys to bed.  Then he bumped his head.  Finally, we thought he was calm and headed downstairs.

About ten minutes later, we heard this loud thumping noise coming from upstairs.  Ian checked on him and reported back the following:

I:  "Liam, were you thumping on the wall?"

L:  "No." [pause] "Yes.  I did it.  The fumpin'.  I did the fumpin'."

And then he kicked the side of his crib into the wall again and laughed.

About an hour and multiple trips up the stairs by both of us later, he finally calmed down.

But yes, he did the "fumpin'."

Overheard on the monitor

Mummy,  I farted.  I farted, mummy.

Repeat 10x.

So proud

Liam choose a career path tonight.   He wants to be a stripper.

Don't ask...

Liam was sitting in Daddy's lap last night, about to get ready for bed.

I:  "Do you need to go potty?"

L:  "Yeah."

(pause)

I:  "LIAM!!!!!!!!"

Apparently the potty couldn't wait.  Commence late night laundry to include Daddy's jeans.

Bottomless pit

I am starting to believe that boys are  truly insatiable when they're hungry.  Liam's idea of an after-daycare, pre-dinner snack is a pouch, a banana, and a yogurt.  At which point he is not hungry for dinner an hour later.  But boy does he have a meltdown if you don't let him have one of those items.

I may need to increase our grocery budget.

Bugs!

We were at Meijer this morning,  beating the pregame rush.   As we passed the seafood counter, Liam pointed and yelled "I want to see the bugs!"

He had spotted the live lobster tank.

I think we may have a hard time dragging him out of Preuss Pets later.

Woof woof!

Liam's new thing lately is to crawl around on all fours and pretend he's a puppy.  Last night, we had just finished his bedtime story when he rolled over on all fours, proclaimed he was a dog, and told Ian to pour dog food into his (Ian's) hand.  Liam then "ate" the food out of Ian's hand. 

Maybe that's why he doesn't want a dog.  He already is one.

Budding Meteorologist

I got corrected on the weather this morning.


L:  (looking out the front door)  "Mommy, it's not bright out?"

A:  (glancing outside) "No, honey, it's cloudy."

L:  "No!  It's FOGGY!"


He was right.  I'm impressed that he recognizes fog.

On imagination

Tonight we got to hear about the "tiniest dinosaur [Liam] ever saw."  It was green and walked on four legs.   It was smaller than a cell phone but larger than a mega block.   It has a mommy and a daddy,  but no brothers or sisters. Finally,  it was eating "berry juice" ice cream and jumping on the bed.

Where do they get this stuff?

On crotch-grabbing

At the park this morning

A:  "Do you need to go pee pee?"

L:  "No,  I'm just holding myself."

Guess who had an accident 30 seconds later.

Sports fans

Trying to teach Liam about first downs.  He keeps throwing his hand in the air and shouting "First up!"

This is what happens when my husband doesn't like football.

Beverage of choice

Liam was holding my bottle of wine and asking "Can I have a drink?"  Good thing I had already emptied it,  because it was a screw top bottle.

Potty time

I:  "Why are you crying?"

L:  "I have poop on my butt!"

Rough days

Spent the last 12 hours drilling into Liam's head that he needs to keep his hands to himself.  He injured one of the infants yesterday.  He's very rough and doesn't realize his own strength.  So now when you ask "Where do we keep our hands?" he responds with "To my own self."

I hope it sticks.

I need a drink.

On thoughts

L:  "I think I have an idea!"

Enraptured adults:  "What is your idea?"

L:  "A truck!"

An awesome idea.

Just like mom

Liam talks in his sleep.   Today we went to his second pool party and just a couple minutes ago he was talking about "too many in the pool."

I'm a sleep talker too.   Or at least,  I used to be.   I wonder if that is genetic.

Why won't my toddler sleep.

Liam is normally a champ at going to bed.   One story,  hugs and kisses, a round of "ABCs, " and off to dreamland.   Tonight,  however,  is a different story.

"Mummy.  I'm poopy,  mummy."

Insert diaper change.  Flush poop down the potty.  Sing again.  Wait five minutes.

"Daddy!   Want daddy!"

Daddy comes up.   Rubs his back.   Sings "Silver Birch."  Wait five minutes.

"Mummy!   I need a diaper change,  mummy.   I peed in my diaper.   Mummy!"

Change diaper again.   Claims he doesn't need to sleep.  Sing "ABCs" and "Twinkle Twinkle."  Request to sleep in the big bed denied.

I can still hear him muttering to himself in his crib.   Talking about going pee pee in the potty.   Crying out for me off and on.

I'm going to bed now,  as I can tell this may be a long one. 

S#!% Liam says

I've been advised by a coworker to start writing down all of the crazy things my kid does.  So here we go.

Liam is nearly three and getting more "terrible" by the minute.  Yesterday, the following two exchanges occurred:

1.  In the car, 8:25AM

L:  (after spitting, yelling, or kicking the passenger seat for about two minutes) "Mummy, you frustrated?"

A:  *silence*

This happened at least four times.



2.  In the time out chair, 7:30PM

L:  "Don't tell me what to do!  You're not in charge of me!"

I & A, in the kitchen:  *silently laughing*


On the bright side, raising him won't be boring.